Marilyn E. D’Alessandro

Marilyn Elizabeth D’Alessandro, age 87, of Mantoloking, New Jersey and Vero Beach, Florida, died peacefully in her sleep on February 14, 2026.  She spent her last days surrounded by her husband of 64 years, children and grandchildren.

Marilyn is survived by her beloved husband Arthur D’Alessandro, son Greg (Lisa) D’Alessandro, daughter Carolyn (Tom) Miller, son-in-law Philip (Janet) Shaheen, sister-in-law Jessica D’Alessandro, and her grandchildren Philip (Lindsay) Shaheen, Cristina (Kevin) Becker, Victoria Shaheen, Scott D’Alessandro, Lindsay (Brandon) Farncombe, Tyler D’Alessandro, Kevin Miller, Jack Miller, Tim Miller, Alex D’Alessandro, Nikki D’Alessandro, Sara Miller, and her great grandchildren Tradd, Jack, Van, Sydney, James, Wyatt and Lincoln. Marilyn was preceded in death by her sons Doug and Christopher D’Alessandro and daughter Chrissy Shaheen, her brother-in-law Victor and sister-in-law Gloria D’Alessandro.

Marilyn was raised in Maplewood, New Jersey to parents Marie and John Stefany. She attended Columbia High School where she began dating Arthur, the love of her life, in her junior year.  She attended St. Elizabeth’s College in New Jersey and after graduation they married.  Marilyn’s 2^nd grade teaching salary provided their income while Arthur finished his last two years of law school. Arthur entered the Air Force in 1963 as a Judge Advocate (JAG) and the couple were stationed at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio and then transferred to McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey. Marilyn participated in the Officers Wives’ Clubs on both bases. Arthur separated from active duty in 1966 and the family settled in Basking Ridge, New Jersey where they raised their 5 children and Arthur opened his law practice.

Marilyn was extensively involved in their children’s activities attending countless football, field hockey, track, cross country and ski events. She served as Director of Cheerleading for the Pop Warner League, Social Chairman of SHARE and was active in the Bernardsville Women’s Club and the Bonafides of Somerset County.  She also served as the Rear Commodore at the Mantoloking Yacht Club and was active in the Grand Harbor Golf and Tennis Club in Vero Beach. She was an avid NY Giants and Boston College fan and loved spending Saturdays watching college football.  Marilyn loved to travel.  She and Arthur vacationed on a cruise ship every year, completing their last trip to the British Virgin Islands two weeks before she passed.

Marilyn was a devoted parishioner at St. James Church in Basking Ridge, Sacred Heart Church in Bay Head and Holy Name Church in Vero Beach. She had an incredibly strong faith that was central to her being and enabled her to overcome life’s many challenges with strength, grace and optimism. She continually reset the tone when tragedy occurred and refocused the family on life and hope.

In 1978 Marilyn and Arthur purchased what would become their forever home in Mantoloking, New Jersey. Arthur had the vision to build the beach house, and Marilyn was the force that kept everyone together. Although an only child, “Nana” (as she was affectionately known by her grandchildren and most of the kids in town) relished family and managed the beach house with a firm but loving hand. She was always the first one up in the morning and had muffins and sliced fruit out for breakfast along with a handwritten note of chores to be completed that day. She was a fantastic cook for any size crowd.  Never fazed by the dozens of kids pouring in and out of the house, every day was a new adventure. She was always up for a party, hosting countless events at their homes in Mantoloking and Vero Beach while each time making entertaining look easy.

Marilyn’s true legacy though is in the people she has left behind.   She actively participated in the lives of all her children and grandchildren.  She taught them to enjoy life, prioritize family time together, and not sweat the small stuff.  Her faith, humor and optimism will live on in all who knew her and will continue to inspire us all.

A Funeral Mass at Sacred Heart Church in Bay Head, New Jersey and a reception to celebrate Marilyn’s life will be scheduled at a future date in the Spring.

Arrangements are by Thomas S. Lowther Funeral Home & Crematory, Vero Beach.